The Identity Project, must it end?

As an artist you work on many projects through out your creative process/life. I like to think that they are all equal but they are not. You ebb and flow with your creativity, always striving for perfection but never achieving it. Some idea's resonate more than others. The Identity Project is one of those journeys that has resonated beyond my wildest imagination. I've been touched and changed by those I've photographed as well as those who have supported this journey from the sidelines. I will be wrapping the photography portion of this project up within the next two weeks. It is a bitter sweet end to an emotional and inspiring four months path of discovery for myself and those who have stood in front of my camera.

I couldn't let this personal and visual journey end without sharing at least one more touching email I received in regard to this project. Words like these both in conversation and written have fueled my visual exploration of who we are and how we are molded by perception.

I wanted to tell you how excited I am by your Identity Project. Your FB and blog postings are inspirational, and the project makes me remember a week of days posing for a talented, intense young photographer when I was in my twenties -- very daring in that time for a young Southern belle mother and former Catholic school girl. But it was a lovely, powerful experience. I very nearly got in touch with you for the Identity Project but managed to overthink the prospect of being brave enough -- and many fond and not-so-fond memories long buried of the intervening years came to the fore (see how affecting your project is already? -- the idea itself stirs things up). I believe you reach for the soul in your work and I cannot wait to see the final Identity Project; you’re an amazing artist.

The Identity Project, a touching back story.

When I embarked on this visual journey, documenting the courageous and yes, sometimes the extroverts, willing to bare all for this photographic series, I felt that I had a series that was special in a variety of ways that resonated personally with me. What I was less aware of, at least in the beginning, was how the process I've created for the individuals to express themselves would be such a personal exploration for them.

The last thing I ask of each of the participants for this project is to answer this specific question, "What is the single most important thing that you would like people to know about you that isn't necessarily apparent by your physical presence or a brief casual conversation?  About a month ago I photographed a woman for this project and she emailed me her answer to this question. The answer was short, had a bit of humor and revealed as expected something I wouldn't have guessed was an aspect of her personality. It was interesting but nothing earth shattering.

Jump forward about a month and I get another email from this same woman today. It isn't a redo on her original answer to the question but it was a very courageous and heartfelt email explaining her reason for doing the project. Upon reading the email I was instantly surprised, enlightened and humbled by her words.

Hey Bill-

I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know how you helped me change my life. I kind of used you, in a good way. See I had a raging eating disorder for 13 years and was at a cross roads where i knew i wanted to change but was too scared to tell anyone or ask for help. Right around that time the opportunity to do your shoot came up. I told myself that if i could 'bare' myself in that way, be brave enough to do it, that i could also expose my secret to my husband. It would be a way for me to practice bravery and remember that time when i needed to be brave again. In a way it was also a snub at the bulimic part of me that abused my body for so long, putting it out there like that was not something the bulimic XXXXX was happy about. Two days after your shoot i did talk to my husband, then my mother and sister, mother in law and others. I am now on the road to recovering from a 13 year prison sentence and looking forward to my future. Things are already SO much better. Its so difficult but i know that eventually i will be able to completely let it go. I just felt that you deserved to know that sometimes our art touches others in ways that they couldn't imagine. 

Thank you again for, unbeknownst to you, being the catalyst in my recovery.

Best,

XXXXX

 

This email was published with her permission and her final thought,

    Absolutely! There are so many people that suffer with anorexia/bulimia/binge eating and it's such a secretive thing. If one other person saw it and gets anything from what I've suffered that would be worth it. I even encouraged the other girls on my online eating disorder bulletin board to do something similar as a exercise in self esteem and acceptance. I felt very empowered by the shoot and in a way it helped me make peace with my body, whatever size it is.  Share away! And send me a link.

 

 

Sometimes you begin a journey that becomes so much more than what you expected or hoped for. This is one of those journeys.